New Zealand has a high rate of child abuse and violence towards children
There are lots of reasons for this
Poor housing , lack of education, no money, high unemployment to name a few
Prior to the Anti-smacking law change of 2009
I would see Mother's whacking their children in the supermarket and street
Now I see them still annoyed with their child, but restraining themselves because the public is viewing them
This gives the Mother the time to breathe, and so when they finally get to the car, it might have blown over
And the child is free from the fear that violence creates
I am a supporter of talking to the child
Physical discipline is not the answer
What are your views
Love and light Marie
There was a real violence in my home. I still work on forgiving my mom all those things she was doing to me. This is why I do not beat my kids and I try very hard not to shout. It is very difficult as the only example I had was violence... But I manage to talk to them and I am very proud of myself that I do not follow my family pattern.
ReplyDeleteI remember very well the feeling when I was beaten. Strange mixture of fear and hate. Explosive mixture... I do not want it for any kid in the world.
We have a new law in Poland too... but still there are too many people saying that one smack is just fine to keep the kid in her/his place. I do not agree with it. And more and more people are against such thinking, fortunately.
Thanks for sharing Asia, at least the law is a start, a start to make people aware that violence is not acceptable.
ReplyDeleteForgiving wrongs takes a lifetime and I am proud of you.
Love and light Marie
There are some simple things we have to do as parents, keeping them safe is one of them. There is no reason why any parent should be violent towards a child. I can't believe people slapping their kids because they won't get in their car seats or because they have taken a toy off another kid, they are kids! that's what they do! I love me and pete's little talks about how we should behave and treat people, it's so nice to see him learning and taking notice of what I say.
ReplyDeleteHi Michelle, thanks for your words, communication is the answer, and role modeling is the key to change, you are doing that with your wee man.
ReplyDeletecheers Marie
I dislik violence-a lot
ReplyDeleteThanks Saskia,
ReplyDeleteIf the world was fair to all, then some people might stand a chance.
Cheers Marie
Children who are hit only learn to hit. Children who are not hit learn, by example, other ways to channel their feelings... Anti-Smacking laws? I say, "Amen" to that!
ReplyDelete"Amen" indeed, M.Bloom,
ReplyDeletethanks for your thoughts, cheers Marie
What exactly is the no smacking law? I’m sure many people will not like my personal view but I feel that spankings do still have a place. 99% of the time talking quietly and time outs work just fine but I do believe that a firm but gentle smack on the bum (and only the bum and never in anger or with anything but a hand) is needed every once in a while. Every child is different and some respond just fine to a firm talking to, others need a little swat from time to time. My parents spanked our bare bums with a wooden spoon. I will never swat so hard that it physically hurts but I feel that a swat from time to time may still have its place.
ReplyDeleteHi Appleshoe,
ReplyDeleteThe law states that using force for correction is strictly forbidden
Here in lies the key I think
Naturally children are often stubborn, fidgety, and need restraining from dangerous situations like running on to the street, hurting other children, touching a hot stove etc
In using "force" parents or guardian must act in good faith and have a reasonable belief that the force is both subjectively and objectively reasonable.
I would like to invite you to stop and breathe, and count to 10, that 1% of smacking that you might consider doing, next time there is an incident, and see if you can change
On a lighter note, I am doing your needle felted instructions today, and will post them on Thursday
Love and light Marie